'Pissed Mouthy Trollops'
45 (weird05) 1999.
My fucking god!!! These 4 hormonally imbalanced punk whores get worse and worse! Main culprit and lead gobshite is the ever present Spu Terrible. Her vocals are enough to try the patience of any saint, man or beast. Some cunt will end doing life living with her. Her worzel vocals are nagging incorporated!!! No kidding! God help the man who ends up as her other half, cos he's seriously gonna need councelling big time!!! P.M.T. hail from Norwich (whoooaarr) and consist of 4 rough looking, pissed up mouthy trollops as the sign says. These punkettes are trying to be a 90's version of the Slits but failing big time. What little talent they had, after go knows how many years of trawling through the toilets of the UK and European scene, has fell way across the floor. They un- improve with age! This EP is 4 faster than light but rough as fuck tracks of textbook punk riffs with no style and boring lyrics. They just get more embarrassing as time goes by. Sure they don't give us any false illusions of anything else but common as muck punk rock done by birds who've probably ad more dick than Paula Yates. But c'mon ladies (snigger) try and be a bit original for once in your council house lives. They do use a sax as a decoy but it's far too restrained and needs more chunks of the song than the odd blurt here or there. Their earlier songs showed promise and was a load better than this release! P.M.T. finish the abuse with a cover of 'I will survive' that's karaoke at it's best and worst! PLASTIC firstname.lastname@example.org
£2/$5 postpaid from Weird Records 61 London Road, Balderton, Newark, Notts, NG24 3AG, England.
T. ANDERS CARSON
'Stain' (scd 1248) CD 1999.
Another first for 'Nihilism On The Prowl!'..yeah poetry in motion! I never thought I'd be reviewing 37 minutes worth of poetry coz like Ska, PC, crusties, liars, cheats, bully's and poseurs this ain't really my bag of spanners. But I have to admit Mr T Carson has a somewhat sniggeringly funny way of telling these stories and what's even funnier is he wants to be taken serious! And what a relief to discover this ain't the boring poetry that I was bought up on in comprehensive schools of the 1970's. No this is like brief passages from some novel or diary. He's got a good descriptive hold on words like for instance "My morbid fascination with cemetaries, mental wards and addicts!" which really had me laughing. I like the more realistic tales like 'Nervous Charlie' and
'Crawling Through Spiked Borders' all about being banged up. But then we have to sit through straight down the line well ordered poems like
'Maple Tree' that reads like one of the poems he submitted for a University thesis or something. What's missing from this CD is some guitar riff going off in the background at certain junctures or some wailing air raid siren or sound effect as he describes his world vision. Other subjects covered in the 26 pieces include lost baggage, being committed, and New Years Eve. And as with all poetic license this ain't something your gonna play again and again unless your really into the sound of one mans lone voice. Maybe if it had something else going off in the background it would've been more interesting but this is only for the poets out there, and like Monsieur Carson spells out..."There's always someone and it doesn't have to be you!" AVERAGE. Check out the web site at
'North America Sucks'
(vp046) CD 1999.
This punk band from the 'Dam are one of the few unrealised powerhouse punk outfits from Europe. And steam into the 15 tracks of their manic intense album as though it's their last. The pisstaking blasts to conservatism living everywhere, are fucking great. I like these a lot and MC Dogshit the Canadian lead singer who's got a bee in his bonnet about everything, gives his all to the songs, which in turn gives em an edge. As soon as he opens his gob, you can tell how pissed off he is. Brezhnev ain't pc, weedy or anything else that rhymes with E! These cunts don't give a fuck! Songs like the blitzing 'District '72...fuck you' that pummel his old Canadian redneck hangout, are spat out with such a vengeance...It's great! The guitars supplied by the mafiosa sounding Ola Cabona are fast and heavy enough to keep em interesting. Ola comes from the Johnny Thunders school of powerchords and that's how we want it here in Nihilism land!!!
Brezhnev (don't be fooled by the name) are angry but funny...very funny. And they really dish it out in a blunt sarcastic manner. They sing about bent politics, sex, debauchery and the crutch of society without remission. They ain't afraid to tread on toes and their claim that the whole world is against em could one day be realised. They end on a high with 'North America Sucks'. Which should either bring them critical acclaim or derrision in some circles! One way or another! WORTH A LISTEN
Vertaminpillen Records,Burg.Loysonstr.27, NL-6373 PB Landgraaf. or
'Up To Your Eyes In It' CD 1998.
This is a self financed 12-track release by this Clydebank outfit from Scotland. The Red Eyes were the ex-SLF tribute band Hanx! who made a name for themselves in support slots amongst a few bigger named punk bands, and were the only UK band doing a Fingers tribute. But there are only so many times you can sing other people's songs without it getting frustrating. So in 1997 they starting doing their own songs and so the Red Eyes were opened. They also done a few supports with the
Fingers on a tour in March 1998. Anyway enough of the history lesson back to the CD. This don't sound nothing like the Fingers well not the "bark and bite" version from '78 but maybe the tamer middle aged version that's doing the rounds now... which ain't good! This debut ain't great at all, it's got no fucking character, power of impact to speak of, even with duel guitars! Lead singer Alan can hold a tune or two but it's missing something...and that something is energy, anger and fucking hunger!!! This is like one of those hobby bands you get when your in your late 20's early 30's. A band who have got jobs, kids, mortgages whatever and play in a band just coz it's a bit rebellious and keeps em from being totally straight. They should hang up their guitars, go down the pub put S.L.F.'s 'greatest hits' on the jukebox and reminisce how they once shared Jake Burn's sweaty towel back stage at Wolverhampton Civic. Maybe playing pool and discussing what car they just bought is just as exciting coz this is pretty fucking dull. Best numbers at a push were 'Tabloid Sleaze' and 'Yesterdays Hero'. PLASTIC £6.00 postpaid from Alan Bishop, Flat 2/2, 83 Dumbarton Road, Clydebank, G81 1UE, Scotland. or email@example.com
BLADDER BLADDER BLADDER
'On The Job With...promo Tape'
By the time your reading this, the Bladder boys will have released this debut CD on Pelado Records from California I think? So this premixed version ain't the full story by a long shot, but is a healthy audition for the real thing. What I like most about Bladder Bladder Bladder is their utter disregard for their new homeland and they tell it like it is! They don't preach or try and look trendy they are just fucking honest and rip the piss gloriously! Some of the younger punk bands could take a leaf out their well dodgy cheque book. Coz tunes and sing-a- long anthems are something these cowboys churn out with rapid regularity. Sure they may purloin a Steve Jones power chord here or a Clash song structure there, but who better than to inspire a gang of chancers than the best! The Bladder boys have some great addictive tuneage falling about all over this 13-song set for all you punk rock swankers out there.'On The Wagon' is possibly a state that Bladder Bladder Bladder will never be in! It's sniggeringly funny with a beefy chorus, as they spell out the trials and tribulations of going without a drink. These jokers are a laff a minute courtesy of their Stockport/London connection. Another version of 'Crime Pays' is given an outing but I never get bored of this song,with piss-taking lyrics like..."In the East end of the wild west crime pays, Coz Uncle Sam he likes white bread best crime pays" It sure fucking does when you've got Hollywood as your backdrop (ha!).What I find most amusing about these cheeky fuckers is (and this might not go down too well with the yanks amongst us) their continual 'bite the hand that feeds ya' philosophy on the American dream. American ex-pats ain't supposed to think like that are they? Well these leeches do and I admire em more for it (tee hee). The duel vocals of Mick Bladder and Sterling Paramour are a great buffer for each other especially on their calling card of 'Carry On Swanking' . Which has Fatty Jones written all over it. Followed by the upbeat 'The World Is Not Enough' which takes us on a roller coaster ride through a century of swindling, scams and idling. You can't blame em coz these yobs are singing about it and probably living it to a certain degree which deserves respect from these cold climates. If I was there I'd be doing just the same. I was a bit dubious about the inclusion of the two covers in- cluding a tame version of 'Rise' by PIL, a Bladder original would've been more than welcome, but who cares coz I don't. 'On The Job' looks set to more than wet any punks whistle for their fully blown 'Demand The impossible' ransom demands. God Save The Queen marr saan! US/UK CONTENDER For more info check out www.bladderbladderbladder.com
BLADDER BLADDER BLADDER
'Live on KXLU,Los Angeles'
High jinx on Los Angeles radio! Yeah the Bladder boys are let loose on the airwaves. The DJ Justin Time on this station was no John Peel and was truly the biggest amateur radio jock I think I've ever heard!!! It was like a methadoned Howard Stern. He seems like he's just come in from them there hills! And he knew fuck all about dj'ing or punk for that matter. Well thank fuck the Bladders are on call to blast out the cobwebs of this stale rock show format. It's set-up like a John Peel session only the bands have a full run through of a set, followed by a brief pisstaking interview. So we get a full 14-song set with only brief inter song banter between the tracks. And you can only imagine why with a DJ this bad! This bootleg gives you a good idea of what the lads sound like in a live situation. Old favourites like 'US Dole Queue' and the situationist 'Demand The Impossible' rub shoulders with the new ones like 'Designated Drinking Driver'. And this is all spat out by a well pissed up Mick Bladder who had to supply some impressive ad-libs to the lyrics amongst some out of tune solo's. The other new one 'On The Wagon' with it's great crashing chorus was also debued. Sterlings guitar shines out and he's rapidly becoming a new successor to the Steve Jones school of amplification. Oh by the way they fleeced the radio station of all their punk CD's as payment for having to put up with such an dum cunt of a DJ. The DJ eventually let slip he knew fuck all about punk now or then in the after show interview (so serves him right). I was a bit disappointed the lads didn't rip the piss out if him more coz he fucking deserved it! Although on 'Living A Lie' he got some well sarcy comments aimed at him which he probably wouldn't have comprehended in a million years. 'No Go Girl' was another catchy fast blast sing-a-ling followed by one of the new albums highlights 'The World Is Not Enough' with it's crime of the century lyrics and addictive guitar licks. They end things by slaughtering 'Rise' by Pil and 'Ready Now' made infamous by Slaughter. Don't think this is due for release but if you ask Mick I'm sure he'd run you off a copy if you write him a nice note or tell him about how Stockport County are gods. WORTH A LISTEN Check out www.peladorecords.com
VARIOUS 'Never Mind The McBollocks' (cdoo1) CD 1999.
When I first put this on I was disappointed and thought what a fucking waste! But after those first few plays quite a few tracks got better and now I must admit it's a grower. This compilation is a good guide to what's really kicking off in punk up in Scotland, and was only faulted by the prominent exclusion of External Menace, Sad Society and of course the Exploited. You can't help but get
sucked into the first track by Ex Cathedra who are put in the shade by that young baby gurgling away and doing a great job in promotion. The Newtown Grunts supply another catchy fat blast of skanka punk. I noticed a lot of the tracks have a Ska feel which seems on epidemic proportions in Scotland these days. The Destructos are another high with a great beefy guitar sound on 'Chatline Girl'. Pity the vocals wasn't more up front. 4 Past Midnight carry on the momentum on the angry 'As Our World Turns' and that great in your face guitar riff on the chorus. The Gin Goblins were a bit restrained from what I was expecting. But sidekick group the Grisley Ghosts Of Guy supplied the sinister slightly Dead Kennedys inspired 'The Man That Laughed'. Machine Gun Etiquette offer the singalong 'Social Insecurity'. And 3D Scream seek to be doing a good imitation of
Newtown Grunts on 'Junkiesville'. The Happy Spastics fill in where the Exploited should've been with the same early style. So not a bad compilation with only a few so so tracks. Good to see a zine like (Runnin Feart) doing more than slagging stuff off like that Suffragette fucker used to do. WORTH A LISTEN £6 or $10 postpaid from Callum Mason, 12 Crusader Crescent, Stewarton, East Ayshire, Scotland, KA3 3BL or e-mail